The Disney Cruise (click to view pictures of cruise)

I have now graduated from losing wallets to losing children. While on the cruise we lost the children in hallways, (aft & stern), on the lanai, the lido deck, beaches, barter towns of Nassau, pirate parties on the poop deck, and in between the buffet lines of cheese.

Oh, the buffet lines! When we were first married Krista and I took a cruise for our honeymoon. Unfortunately, after nights and nights of parties and sleeping in an inner cabin we never made it to breakfast. So, now, 16 years later Krista was able to make it a breakfast line. “Mini-waffles in the shape of Mickey Mouse, bagels, egg puffs, sausage, French-toast, made-to-order omelets,” Krista announced as she passed each item in escalating tones of excitement. Finally, the man in front of her turned around and said, “There are a lot of things here that make you happy.”

My license plate reads PLUS247. Which I thought was a great way of saying positive (or PLUS) everyday (247, 24/7, 24 hours a day/7 days a week). Krista thinks I should have asked for POSVRDY as it would be easier to derive. I think that’s just anti-positive thinking.

So, you can see, I am a big believer in trying to find the bright side of everything. Disney takes it to an extreme. This attitude was infectious in that no guest on the boat complained, argued, or was disgruntled. It maybe because they shelled out $2,000 a pop, and no one wanted to perceive of anything less than perfect. But, I think it was how the cast members turned every spoken word into a positive statement. For example, while waiting in line for an attraction, we were cut off from entering because the ride had reached capacity. The cast member looked me straight in the eye and said, “Let me see if I can have you become the first rider on the next ride.” I felt like saying thank you. “Honey, he said we can be first on the next ride – isn’t this great?”

Wasn’t Legionnaires’ Disease caused by an air conditioning unit in a hotel? With battling climates of the outdoors (a heat index of 110) and the utopian 72 degree climate of the ship creates body confusion and finally has started kennel cough in our family unit.

Our first day of the trip we sat poolside watching videos on the giant LED screen on top of the ship. The children (when we could find them) were sliding down the tube slide, in and out of the Mickey Mouse or Goofy pools. This was of course, after we filled our gullets with bounties of shrimp, cubed cheese, and prime rib sliced in front of us.

While docking in the Bahamas, we continued our second day pool side, looking for children, and eating pizza, paninis, and sandwich wraps. Around noon, Nolan need a nap, and I graciously offered to take him to the room. After our nap, Krista, Nolan, and I watched “Walle” in the on-board theatre of the ship.

After a completely unpacked day (Krista says to mention here that on our next cruise she promises to do a much better job of time-management), after an unpacked day – I decide that Devin and I should venture into Nassau. As we walk off the ship, we rent a scooter – to which Devin replies, “No, Dad, we’ll probably die.” There it is, the death thing, along with a complete lack of trust of the father.

After a quick test drive, and an extra $10 for insurance (which wasn’t mentioned when the initial scooter price was quoted), I was told

“Oh, and remember you’re in the Bahamas, so we drive on the left side of the road.”

“Dad, we are gonna die.”

After our third turn, I felt pretty confident. That is until an on coming bus driver reminded me, “it’s the left side of the road, left side.”

So, now we are scooting away from dark clouds, not remembering which streets I am turning on – left, or right. I am vindicated on my Gary, Indiana, experience after witnessing three stray dogs. Here, in the Bahamas, we actually do stop to mix it up with the locals. Walking through the barter towns, Devin purchases a pink and silver necklace.

We return to the cabin, to which Willina (call her “Willy” she says) has created one of our first of many towel origami figures – a swan. Towel origami, I will learn over the course of our trip, is a three year course in Disney College to which all resort room service employees must attend. The best piece that was created was the likeness of Jack Sparrow (from Pirates of the Caribbean) created with two towels and gold-foiled chocolate doubloons for eyes.

Pirates was a huge theme our second night on the ship. Disney opened its gift shops and allowed us to buy as much pirate merchandize as we wanted. I know those pirate Goofy ears will come in handy again in my future. After dinner, we wandered on top of the ship for a pirate themed party. After losing Ian, we watched the only on-board fireworks display to top off the stage production battle between Mickey and Captain Hook.

Our third day was spent at Castaway Cay. Cay is pronounced “Key.” This begs the question, “Well, why don’t you spell it that way?” This maybe perceived as negative, so you think, “Isn’t that Disney Magical the way they pronounce it key?”

Before our trip, we logged into the Disney website and booked an “Xtreme” water package – which included biking, snorkeling, swimming with sting rays, and a tube or raft rental. During our down-time we also participated in a scavenger hunt and outdoor barbeque. We spent the whole day in our swim suits.

Being the first experience in the ocean, the kids are unaccustomed to the salt water. We can still picture the kids running back inland screaming, “My eyes, it burns my eyes.” Devin asks her Mom, “If I drink too much of the salt water, will I die?”

Between my meaty thighs, the sand, salt water, and mesh lining of my swim suit I have summoned up a severe case of adult diaper rash which can only be described as lava-flowing, crotch rot. My walking gait resembled not that of a penguin, but a crab, as I tried to create adequate air flow between my thighs, bits n’ pieces, and swim suit.

Note: If you look at the pictures along with this blog writing, there are no pictures of day at Castway Cay. This is not because the port officials confiscated pictures of my medical abnormalities which included the aforementioned nether regions, but due the fact that our digital camera broke. Apparently, I was lucky enough to purchase a new camera on our trip due the Magic of Disney’s camera shops.

Back on the ship and out to sea, we watch our second of the theatrical productions – “Dreams.” The previous night we watch a musical review of “Toy Story” complete with bigger than life toys, video back drops, and original scores sung by the cast. However, tonight’s performance was over the top. Peter Pan walked us through all the Disney movies -- Cinderella, Aladdin, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and the Lion King. With scenes popping in and out of the floor, elaborate costumes, real snow falling onto the audience, and on-stage firework display we were truly overwhelmed.

Krista does complain a bit about the room arrangements. We were able to score some rooms next to each other, but not adjoining. I view the experience more positively, “Ian, aren’t we lucky not to be in the same room as the girls?” Each kid had their own “Key to the World” key card to which Nolan used to open and close the door no less than 895 times each night. “Dad, where’s my key card,” was a common oft repeated phrase.