2013 Best Weekend Ever

"We certainly had a busy weekend," says Krista during Martini/News hour on Monday night.  I had just arrived back camping with the boys on the last day of summer.

Completely exhausted, I wonder out loud, "What did we do on Friday?"

"Book of Mormon"

Oh my God, did all of that happen this weekend?  I thought the thing I spent 3% of my salary on would be etched in my memory for at least three days.  Not unlike car accident victim, my short term memory is gone.

Not for your reading pleasure, for my sake of answering the question "What did we do on your birthday?"  I am writing this shit down.

Friday, August 16 - Krista's Birthday Eve
Krista's birthday eve, not unlike the "Feastivus for the Rest of Us" is the pinnacle approaching the climax of birthday month.  Booking Krista's birthday plans, and floating a loan six months ahead of time, we booked "Book of Mormon" in January.  This guaranteed me that I wouldn't get the "I always get jipped on my birthday, because of all the bills due" comment (forget the fact that we went on both a Disney Park/Cruise and Colorado Dude Ranch vacation in the years prior).

So, Book of Mormon (I forget to you italicize plays or put them in quotes?) was everything you heard -- hilarious, raunchy, and hilarious.  Suffice it to say, the best quote was "You really don't think he f*cked a frog to get rid of AIDS do you?"  Do you capitalize AIDS or just the first initial, man, I thought grammar was my poor suit, no comes along punctuation.

Krista and I lived out the suburban dream by parking, eating, and watching a play within a 100 yard radius.  I really love going downtown and seeing all the sites.

Saturday, August 17 - The Greatest Day on Earth
Krista and I have a friend, Kathy O'Staunchness (okay, auto-correct just changed her name to Staunchness -- so I left it for privacy and hilarity reasons only), who once in high school, declared August 17th the greatest day on earth.  Years later finding that Krista was born on the same day solidified the statement.

Baum, Baum, Ba -- Sound the trumpets the day has begun.  Actually, I let her sleep in, while working with the septuagenarians at church installing a electronic screen in the multipurpose room.  I invite the two gentlemen over for coffee, as Krista walks through the kitchen in her nightie (or is it nightgown, or shorts and t-shirt?).

"Thanks for the heads up."

"Happy Birthday, Sweetie."

A Day at the Beach

At 11:40 we head off to Gilson Beach. Ten minutes late, and don't I know it.

Getting me to the beach took weeks of priming.  "You can sit on the beach, read a book, wear a t-shirt (insert you fat tub of lard silently mouthed words behind this)."  Actually reading a book on the beach isn't a bad idea.  I can pretend I am participating, but enjoying my mono activity at the same time.

By the way -- Bossy Pants is hilarious!  Italicize or "quote" books?

The neighborhood chose this as the beach day, um, I mean, to celebrate Krista's birthday at the beach.  Yeah, that's right, a birthday beach celebration.  We were joined by 2/3 of the Jack Family, the Antonaglus, Parson Family, that family on Harrison Road who I can never recall their names, and the Jerva Family.

What?  A Surprise Party for Me?

As the day wore into afternoon, I realized I still needed to cook dinner, get a gift, cards, and apparently unbeknownst to me, organize a surprise birthday party.  As the beach goers left, I invited them to Mai Tias posted a few pleas on Facebook, and anxiously sent out some texts.

Shish-kabobs, a couple of iPhone 5 cables, and a gallon of Mai Tia mix later, we were in business with the surprise party.  "Oh, look who is stopping by with the giant cookie cake?  What, for me -- you didn't have to."

Ending the night we sent up some sky lanterns, only to convince me tat every fire in California starts with the words, "No really, they say right on the package, 'it's safe'."

Last Day of Summer
So, the kids have to go back to school on Tuesday, and Krista is working on Monday.  She turns to me a couple of weeks ago and says -- why don't you take Monday off and do something fun with the kids.  And as Krista puts it, "Of course, Jon Rachiele has to take it to a whole new level."

You're with Who?

"That's an awesome idea!," I think.  "We can go camping on Sunday night in Michigan, climb the dunes, cook with the dutch oven, go swimming, and tell ghost stories by the campfire eating cobbler."

"Ugh,"  she thinks.  "I was thinking of Nickle City."

4 hours of packing, 4 hours of driving, 4 hours of cooking, and 8 hours of sleeping allotted us 2 hours of quality time with Kurt and his boys, Jack and Chance.  We had hot dogs, sausage, ribs, cobbler, and s'mores.  Kurt sang his whole repertoire of 4-half songs on guitar repeat-shuffled in random order, and we finally went to bed under threat of a fine by the park ranger.

In Closing
Capping off the night, Krista makes Carne Asada.  Ian wishes he could spend more time with me, Nolan admits the camping trip wasn't the worst idea, and Devin needs to make some calls -- "I have a life dad."

Ahh -- soaking it all in.